You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
