just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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