All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
