So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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