plz talk dirty to me
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
