Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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