Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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