Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
