One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
