Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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