They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
