If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
