PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
