Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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