look no pants
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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