I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
