She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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