she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
