Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
