Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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