Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
