I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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