oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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