everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
