It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
