3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
