Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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