theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
