seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
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Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
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Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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