the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
