i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
