I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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