Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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