Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?