There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
