remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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