DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
