if i can run in heels then i can drive
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it was like eating out sand paper
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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