Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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