Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
