Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
