You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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