Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Are we still banned from the library?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
