you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
