Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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