I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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