using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
