Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
