i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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