Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize