she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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