I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
