How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
