READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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