Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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