Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
