No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he was CRYING into my vagina
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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