Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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