woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
