Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
