weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
