He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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