is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
