You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
