We're like a lot better than the average bears
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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