is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
