one might say we're banned from that church
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
