I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
