so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
