super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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