I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You're completely useless in the revolution.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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