my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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