Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
