i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
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