He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
